My husband and I are hovering around the age of 30. He is 31 and I am 29. Our Grandparents are in their 80’s and one by one they are passing away. It’s been a hard two years.

On February 1st of 2008 my Grandfather, who I was very close with my entire life, passed away. He lived a long life, nearly 90 years, and unfortunately suffered a long death. He was sick for a very long time, probably 2 full years. His mind left far before his body and the entire family felt the effects of his upset. His dementia caused him to make up stories that cast the roles of his beloved family as villains. My cousin Christine and my Grandmother suffered the brunt of it and I felt for them everyday. Day by day, moment by moment he lost more and more of his dignity but his body simply wouldn’t give in to the inevitable. This man, this soldier, was suffering and no one could help him. His situation brought the family to the point where we prayed he would pass on to the other side, because being here on our earth was doing him no favors. that being said on the morning of his death the entire family gathered around his bedside in shock that the day had finally arrived. Of course no one was happy that he passed, only relieved that he finally found peace.

Next was my husband Tim’s Grandma A. Grandma A was that quintessential little old lady.  She was kind and gentle and had seen a lot of things in her 80 some odd years. She married young and never worked a day in her life. She was brought up to take care of a family and to have dinner on the table and the kids perfectly put together when her husband arrived home. Tim’s Grandfather A. died before I was in the picture but since his death Grandma A. was a little lost, lonely. She missed him and missed having someone to take care of. One day she had a stroke and a heart attack. She was already so small and frail and she just couldn’t hold up to the toll it had taken on her body. She lived about a week, was able to come home to her daughters house and die in a comfortable setting surrounded by her children. We still haven’t adjusted to losing her.

Almost immediately after that my Grandma had some minor health issue that sent her to the Emergency Room. When she arrived they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her and put her through about one million tests. Some type of medicine they gave her made her completely demented. While there she had a series of small heart attacks. She had to stay in the hospital for at least two weeks. We couldn’t believe that she went in basically healthy and started deteriorating in the actual hospital. It seemed to be one thing after another. For a while there we weren’t sure she was coming out. After they released her into rehab she stayed there for about a month. She is now all better and back at her home chugging along like she always had. My Grandma played a huge part in raising me, my mom and I lived with her for 6 years and I was not ready to lose her. I’m so grateful to the lord for healing her and giving her more time with us because it was not her time to go.

Now Tim’s Grandma S. has suffered a massive stroke. Grandma S. is one of the strongest women I have ever met in my life. She has 3 children. One is mentally handicapped and another, her only son, died when he was about 16 of Cancer on Christmas day after a long heart wrenching fight. No parent should ever outlive their child. Life was never easy for Grandma S. but she is a fighter. We joke that she would never die because she wouldn’t stand for it. But this stroke has hit her hard. It has been a week and she is still paralyzed on one side of her body. The family moved her from the hospital in Venice Beach, FL to my mother in laws home here in Orlando to have hospice help us care for her. I was able to visit her today for the first time since the stroke and she is doing better than expected, but not great. She has a hard time swallowing and has refused a feeding tube. She is getting confused regarding the present and her past. She is bedridden and that is hard on someone like her. The whole time I was there she kept telling me she wanted to get up and walk around. I told her that she was not allowed and she point blank asked, “Who said I wasn’t allowed?” I answered back, “The doctor, and me and that is all you need to hear.” She was angry. I didn’t blame her.

I’m not sure what is going to happen with Grandma S. I’m praying she recovers. Her husband has stayed back in Venice Beach for now, because he has his routine and at his age it is important. He’ll come up later in the week. She had a few coherent moments during our visit and she told me how hard he cried when they drove her away, he was afraid he’d never see her again. I can’t imagine what he is going through but I realize one day our time will come.

It’s a hard time in our lives right now. I’ve been unfortunate enough to see a lot of death recently. I believe dying is probably a bit like dreaming. You are floating in and out of consciousness until finally you don’t even realize you’ve gone. It probably isn’t scary, but it might be surreal. One of my favorite short stories of all time is called The Jilting Of Granny Weatherall and you can find it here. If you have 10 minutes I ask that you read it so you understand my feelings on the issue. I dedicate this to all the Grandparents we love and have had to adjust to losing.

So, my dear Lord, this is my death and I wasn’t even thinking about it. ~ Granny Weatherall

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